What would you do?

Ok so just watched life on Deathrow with Trevor McDonald, there were two stories that stuck with me..
The man who killed a mother and her 4 ( yes 4) year old daughter for NO reason! He said he regrets what he does and he knows he deserves the death penal and he knows how horrific his crimes were..
This is one of the many reasons I watch criminal minds, to see if there is ANY psychological or scientific explanation behind someone's thinking when they do something like this. He explained he was on Meth and he had intended to rape the mother but when he saw the child he couldn't bring himself to do it.. I mean so you can't rape the mum but you can kill her and the 4year old..what the fuck is wrong with you you sick fuck.. He said he felt he had gone too far and he thought if he killed them he would not go back to prison and get away with it.
How warped can you mind be?! He said he was abused and didn't have a good childhood (however I was quite impressed that he didn't use it as an excuse), but seriously what could you be thinking to kill two innocent people who have let you into their house because they think you are lost! He was very remorseful and I understand that he was on drugs but there must be something inside you that makes you capable of that, how can you let yourself get that bad.. To be soo high on drugs that you can do that!
I think there must be something inside you that after your childhood and tragic events in your life you turn to that, some people do the complete opposite ..
Why is it that some people use it to better themselves and make others proud and others use it to excuse terrible things that they do!?!?

Now on the other hand ( and I know a lot of people will be like wtf your contradicting yourself but hey) this other dude although he was paid (not much) like 700 quid to kill two people he said the reason he did it was because some guy had taken pictures of his family and said its AS easy to kill them as it is to get these photos, he explained that he thought the guy was a big shot and feared for his family's lives.
So in his mind his choice was them or the people he loved.. I can KIND of understand this ( kind of just so none of you go off on one thinking I'm gonna go on a killing spree) ..
He didn't ow these people which I would think makes its easier you COULD rationalise this "they might not have family" blah blah compared to your own family and the ones you love.
I know that regardless of how long I would spend in prison if I thought my family were going to be killed I would make that choice in a heartbeat..
Just imagine (and I know you can never know until it happens) someone had a gun to your mum/dad/sibling or child's head.. And said you kill some randomer or they die..
So what would you do?

Daddy..x

So yesterday would have been Daddy's 49th birthday.. And I seem to have been more emotional than I normally am, and I think this is because of Lola! I think it's the fact that even though me and Jamie are young she won't get to meet her grandad and he will never be able to hold her or kiss her little face or tell her how much he loves her!
Makes you really appreciate what you have got! Love my mummy and family and Jamie's family lots and hope that daddy Is looking down and is proud of everything we've all done and proud of Kovu and Lola!
Miss you always, Love you forever xxxxx

I'm an oldie...

Am watching Bbc three's sexual health programme and am gob smacked at the fact that these people have casual unprotected sex like weekly.. One man although he was a gay pornstar had slept with 85 people in the 3 months..I don't even think I know 85 bloody people and not ones I'd sleep with!!
Having got together with Jamie young and moved out and had my baby girl I feel very out of the loop so to speak because it seems to have become the "norm" to just have unprotected sex! I don't get having a different partner every weekend and certainly do not understand not protecting yourself all the time..
I understand the odd one or two where it just happens etc I'm not like 95 and celebate..lol..but I would never put myself (and others) at risk on a weekly basis and sometimes more! Call me old fashioned but wouldn't you rather have someone who you are truely comfortable with cos whoever thinks sex is like the movies is completely deluded, and can satisfy you without having to chase or get completely smashed just to sleep with them for the sake of it... #sensibleme :)

Where to begin..

Hey peeps..have decided to start a blog obviously, just for shots and giggles..
So I thought where do I start may aswell pour on the cheese and do a soppy one to start..
The reason I started a blog was part curiosity part my mummy..
My mummy really is the best mummy ever, I cannot explain to people how much I love her and how much she does for us, most of you reading this will be familiar with the story but I'll dip into it.. Imagine having 3children under 5 one being a newborn stressful huh well just add to the pot your husband dying, even the strongest people would struggle and I'm sure she did at times but not once did I ever see her properly unhappy or "depressed"..I assume we pushed her over the edge at many points but hey we're young kids :) then there was a few crappy relationships one ending badly, but again not once in front of us did this seem to affect my mummy, she used to carry on like the world smelt of roses! So mummy I really do believe that you are the strongest and most special person I know! And our grandad Greg lol I am so happy that mummy has found you and you make her happy, couldn't ask for a better step-daddy!
My Sister, soulmate and best friend.. Jess as most people know we are inseparable, working together living down the road I can't imagine when I havnt seen you everyday and I would never change that.. I am by your side for everything and your beautiful baby boy Kovu I know I say it everyday but I cannot say I love you enough! You go I go right?!
My brother Daniel who I still see as a baby, even though he's all grown up and saving china.. Haha lil Mulan quote there sorry, no but really I love you so much baby boy your an amazing man and you mummy daddy me and jess are so proud of you!!
The love of my life Jamie, you inspire me to be better everyday and you make me love you even more with every silly little thing that you do I love you no matter what!! I know you'd catch me where ever I fall probably in a fancy done up car but regardless you'd catch me and your an amazing father!
Which brings me to my beautiful daughter Lola, never in a million years could I love someone so little so much, you've make me smile even when your streaming your head off because you are the most special gift anyone could ever receive I hope I give you everything you want and more..
My family, obv I cannot name every single person in my family I'd be here forever but I know that every single person would be there to listen and look after me!
Jamie's mummy and daddy too, are wonderful I couldn't ask for better in laws lol, most people don't get on with theirs but I am so lucky to have them, I also know that they will be there for me and Lola and jay obv whenever we need them!
My true friends, other than jess I have few real friends I like it that way but to my true friends, you know who you are, I love you and would choose you over a whole load of randoms anyday!
My puppies Ruby and Tyson, I love you!
Last but not least my daddy, I'm sure, well I hope you are looking down on me and you are proud, there isn't a second that goes by that I don't think about you, miss you always love you forever..
So to all these people who make my world go round thank you, I havnt had all the riches I could ask for but my life is perfect <3
Keep reading please I'll make sure it's interesting I promise! :) thanks xx